Improvedandconfused


























  1. If only he’d soaked the dog in vinegar. It was made pretty clear earlier on in the film that vinegar was an effective zombie repellent.

  2. Oh you meant the women's cup. Respectable but the men's there is simply no way.

  3. Well the Socceroos just beat Tunisia, so based on their current projectory they are on a clear path straight to the cup!

  4. Hang on a minute. I intend to drive for at least the next 40 years. During that time technology is going to change as is the way we generate electricity. I can’t choose a fossil fuel powered car because I doubt fossil fuels will still be available in 40 years time. And I can’t choose an electric car because they all look like crap.

  5. ill say for easy of answering, the whole fossil fuel cars being scrapped is not an issue. once you have the car you can drive it

  6. In that case I will keep the car I have, a Lexus UX 250H Sports Luxury. It’s not so much that I love the car (although I do), it’s more that I can’t be bothered adjusting the seat, steering wheel and mirrors to the correct position for me on another car.

  7. I went one day with my wife to the local park to feed our leftover bread to the birds who hang around the pond. It was a bit cold so my wife stayed in the car while I went out to throw the bread. At first mainly ducks enjoyed my offerings, but suddenly I was approached by a group of geese, who soon surrounded me, and got very aggressive, as if they were in a feeding frenzy like you see on a documentary on the National Geographic Channel. They were trying to grab the bread from my hand, so I threw the bread, hoping to create a distraction, and ran as fast as I can to the nearest tree. The group, or should I say posse of geese gobbled up the bread and gave chase. I climbed the tree but and looked down at what was about 20 angry geese, squawking at me, demanding more bread in whatever language geese speak. I thought I should call my wife to ask her to find the park rangers to help me, and I realized I had left my phone in the car. I looked out from my position high up on the tree could see my car, and my wife was sitting safely inside, filming the whole episode with my phone, laughing.

  8. I work a pharmaceutical sales rep. About 2 years ago I was sitting in the reception area of a medical clinic waiting to speak to a doctor, when an elderly blind man came out of his appointment and approached the reception desk. It was obvious he was blind, he had one of those sticks that blind people use. I overheard him asking the receptionist whether his carer is in the waiting room, and she said she will check and asked him what his carer looks like. The blind man smiled with a cheeky grin and answered loudly “How the hell would I know?”.

  9. They measure time by a unit known as “Trumpcraps” which is a unit determined by the frequency of the lies that come out of Donald Trump’s mouth.

  10. Between 300 to 399. When we count I want it to go 297, 298, 299, 400, 401……

  11. If it’s taught in high school English classes and bores the hell out of the students, then it’s a poem.

  12. American media portrays Australians as a bunch of drunkards who ride on a kangaroo to work, which frankly is quite ridiculous.

  13. Every major important building in Washington DC was designed to look like a human genital body part, to give the impression to visiting foreign dignitaries tier Americans are fertile, will have lots of babies, and will take over the world.

  14. I have single faucet lever tap in my shower. There is only one way to make the shower cooler, turn the faucet clockwise.

  15. Full of violence, contradiction, plagiarism, and terrible examples of how a good person should live their life.

  16. In 2008 I was being treated for cancer. The treatment was very difficult, and my doctor told me I even thigh the scan showed all clear I needed 1 more round of chemo just to be sure. I was feeling really down about more treatment, but then I overheard heard one of the nurses say to her colleague that the young man who was being treated for the same cancer as me had died the day before. I then knew I had been pretty lucky.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *