AITA for asking my partner to not piss in our mugs

  1. This is so gross. If nothing else works, he should just use the bathroom before the raids and not drink anything during them!

  2. His reaction leads me to believe that this isn’t the first time he’s done this, just the first time he’s been caught.

  3. You can just tell on the chat that you need to be gone for 2min to take a piss, literally no one would care unless you're in the middle of the boss fight and even then you can probably step away.

  4. NTA. No sir, grown men do not piss in mugs so they can continue playing video games. That is absolutely disgusting and unacceptable.

  5. Oh my God this, if you don't want to throw all your mugs cuz some of them have sentimental value, you need to look up sterilizing them. Because given how casual he was about this with you, you cannot assume any of your other vessels have not been tainted

  6. Nta. I'm a guy and would not piss in my own mug, much less mugs I knew my family were going to drink out of. Doesn't matter that they get washed, I don't want to drink out of a fucking piss mug. You should not have to explain yourself. "Do not piss in the mugs I drink out of, you selfish disgusting fuck!" should be more than enough.

  7. I've been a gamer for about 40+ years....and in all that time, I've never once pissed in a mug. You can easily go before or after a raid...jeez that's just gross.

  8. Exactly. My mind was like ew. Both my husband and I are gamers and we always take a break in between to go to the restroom like a normal person.

  9. NTA. If this man cannot hold his piss in the time it takes to find a pause point in a raid (truly, there are so many...) he needs a diaper and a prostate exam

  10. NTA Your boyfriend relieved himself in mugs. He's nasty. That's disgusting. And it is not normal, I have never met a man that relieved themselves in a mug.

  11. NTA. My husband is a gamer and in the 7 or so years we’ve lived together he’s never pissed in anything other than a toilet, even when raiding.

  12. NTA. That’s disgusting and so lazy. That’s a grown 28 year old man… who can’t pause his video game… to pee? In a toilet?

  13. NTA yes some men are disgusting, but like in a won't think about needing to change the sheets, or eating leftovers that are really old kind of way - peeing in a cup that will be used to drink out of in the future is soooo far beyond normal dudes are gross behavior

  14. My bf is an avid gamer and games online where he cant pause his game, he will hold it and then as soon as he can, he runs to the bathroom like a typical grown ass man. NTA...Not one guy I know and most are gamers, do this!!

  15. NTA - I grew up with brothers, I have 2 sons & a husband. None of them pee anywhere except the toilet, or the occasional tree in the woods if it’s an emergency. This is incredibly disgusting and not normal.

  16. NTA. It is in fact not the same as putting animal fat in a mug. Animal fat you can use for cooking, if you're using piss for cooking you're making a bad meal.

  17. NTA - This is definitely not a thing all guys do...well the peeing in odd objects can be like a bottle and once out of desperation a small trash can ONE TIME lmao BUT I've never used something that will be reused for any type of food/sanitary related role. Also if I do it, its when my SO isn't around and I can dispose of it before it bothers anyone (except myself) cause its bad enough seeing pee bottles on the side of the road. I wouldn't want my SO thinking I see our space as less than the shoulder of busy highway.

  18. Having a piss bottle or jar, maybe a crappy plastic water bottle you throw away, or a piss jar that's clearly labeled: somewhat normal, bordering on acceptable. Something that not ALL guys do, but a significant enough percentage that it's not completely out of bounds.

  19. NTA My partner & I are gamers (both 25) and would never even think to do something like that, either hold it and run to the bathroom when the games over, or if he’s really that desperate just go to the toilet and forfeit the game. That is beyond foul and definitely not a normal thing. The fact that he went back and forth with you on it… there will never be an acceptable time to pee in a bottle or container when the toilet is 5 steps away from where he’s sitting. He should feel disgusting because he is disgusting

  20. NTA. Your partner is lazy and disgusting. Next time you have your period, collect it in his favorite cup and say you ran out of tampons and it’s not a big deal. He can just wash it. See how he feels.

  21. NTA. He should get himself a designated pee receptacle if he feels he can’t take time out to use the toilet. A mug that is used by others isn’t ok to use. They even make wearable pee things for if you need such a device.

  22. NTA and I’m worried about your carpeting. I can’t imagine anyone who is lazy enough to piss in a mug in their office being concerned about their aim

  23. I've only known black out drunk people to piss in random vessels because they couldn't actually find the bathroom. Coherent people not so much. NTA

  24. I grew up with three brothers and this is not normal. It's disgusting. Not only would I never be able to use those mugs again but I wouldn't trust his cleanliness in all areas after this. Obviously if he's too lazy to use a bathroom his hands weren't washed, either. Eww. NTA

  25. My ex did this. Not in mugs that we drank from at least, but he would use empty juice containers when he was too lazy to go up to the bathroom on the second floor. I can't say that that was the only reason I left him, but any time I feel a little sad about being single I remember the piss bottles and think nah, I'm good.

  26. I'm very non squeamish. To save space in the our boat's tank my dad and brother kept pee bottles in the head. They were behind the toilet but they were around.

  27. NTA, this feels like bf has a problem and is defending this behavior because he knows he has a problem and doesn’t want to admit it. Like… ok listen, I grew up around drug addicts and this is the kinda shit I’d expect from one of them because they were too lazy/high to get up and use the bathroom. It’s kinda sad…

  28. This is not ‘how guys are.’ That is how animals are. You can do better. Take the money, your stuff, and just go. God knows what kind of personal hygiene he has, and what you may have already caught from him.

  29. Ugh. I've main and off-tanked in raids and my husband was heals. These aren't roles you can easily afk from. However in 20+ years of gaming, neither of us has even THOUGHT about using a mug. There's zero excuse for not using the restroom between pulls. Ick. Ewww. BLECH!

  30. This would be a dealbreaker for me. Just move out. He will continue doing it behind your back and now you will always wonder if all mugs and glasses in the house have been used as a toilet

  31. You know what, I am a guy that has done a lot of things, that could be deemed unsanitary in my life, but fuck sake, pissing in a mug because you're gaming? Really? I used to raid a lot and after each attempt (*cough* wipe *cough*) the raid leader would ask if anyone needs a break. That's normal. Pissing in a mug to save those few minutes is not on. NTA.

  32. What the actual fuck? I don’t think having the convenience of a penis gives you the right to be repulsive and piss wherever you like? I’m disgusted. Idc if you can sterilise and sanitise, if someone PISSED IN MY FAVOURITE MUG… I don’t know how I’d react but it wouldn’t be very positively. NTA

  33. NTA. First and foremost it demonstrates an inability to control oneself. One sits and plays a game to the point they need to urinate in a food container? It’s disgusting and lazy. A mug of urine is easily forgotten, especially by someone so engrossed in playing a game they can’t be bothered to use the bathroom, tipped over and spilled. In my home we do not mix kitchen items with bathroom items, ever (with the exception of a tooth glass). I’m a hospice nurse and I have visited many old, sick people who have done this (not with a mug, but with urinals or other containers…they know not to use food containers). But they are old and sick and often bedbound and can’t walk to the bathroom. This is not the behavior of someone with any self respect.

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  35. NTA. This is gross. I’m a former gamer (kids are my priority now) and I was raised in a house with boys being myself and my brother. No, we don’t piss in cups. Disgusting. Take a break and go to the bathroom.

  36. NTA!!! I grew up with a brother that, rather than walk down the stairs, would piss in empty juice containers that our mother would then throw away (yes, he is her golden child), and I thought it was fucking disgusting as a child. I still think it now. If my partner was pissing in empty juice containers, let alone our DISHWARE, oh FFS I'd come unglued. That is just foul, nasty and disrespectful.

  37. NTA. Guy here. Have one brother. We both played video games growing up and even to this day. I have never once pissed in a mug or anything that I could possibly drink out of in the future. Your partner is nasty and if you could do me a favor and ask him not to blame the whole gender for his gross, lazy ass.

  38. It took 7 minutes for my face to go back to normal after reading this. I had to stop reading. I hope it doesn’t freeze permanently in “disgusted” mode. Holy cow. NTA. And how can you look at him the same way again - or eat/drink anything in your home without wondering what else he thinks is “normal?”

  39. NTA. Checked in with husband on this- who is a big gamer. The only time he has pissed in a container was when his dad was driving and wouldn’t stop and that was a disposable cup. He agrees this is disgusting and lazy.

  40. NTA. All of my friends are guys & they would never do this. That’s not normal and it’s not normal to think it’s normal. Please leave this sorry excuse for a “guy”.

  41. No. Men do not pee in the household dishes. Hard no. Tell him to get off his ass and use the toilet. I’m so grossed out…

  42. Yuck NTA- it is not normal guy behavior! The one time my husband woke up and really had to pee but my mom beat him to the bathroom. In an emergency he didnt reach for an empty glass he reached for the empty cat litter jug and then made sure to bring the jug out side immediately.

  43. NTA that's nasty! I doubt he speaks for all men. I'd lose a bunch of attraction to someone as lazy and dismissive as him.

  44. I’ve had a LOT of roommates over 20 years of renting. Most have been men. We always shared dishes. None of them have ever pissed in our cups or dishes. Again it has been TWENTY YEARS with a variety of male roommates. They do not do this.

  45. This is so disgusting. I have 2 brothers, a dad, and have had multiple bf’s that play video games along with guy friends. NONE of them do this, despite how “gross” they can be.

  46. Next time he needs a glass of water, get it from the toilet. It gets cleaned right? And all waste is flushed away. So it's fine.

  47. I am a gamer or i was, and that is not normal by any degress, all games have sessions, all online ones have breaks during raiding and what not. That is NOT ok

  48. I've got 4 brothers. All are gamers. My husband is a semi professional gamer. He has 3 brothers himself. If either of our brothers (or even he) did something so vile the mug would be disposed of and they would be treated to a lecture about how to use a toilet.

  49. Nta holy hell that's disgusting. My husband and I are gamers. You better believe we hold it until after the fight then go pee in the bathroom.

  50. Nta, that’s disgusting my boyfriend is a gamer but even he knows that’s gross, he takes his time to go to the washroom and goes back to playing no matter what

  51. It’s time for a new partner and new everything else. If he is willing to piss in mugs just think of all the other things he has probably pissed in….

  52. NTA. I know many men and not one of them would pee into a mug also used for drinking!!! That's completely vile! Use a toilet!

  53. NTA, I know gamers who play unpausable games and they all take the time to use the bathroom. This is absolutely disgusting. I wouldn't put up with someone who pees into any kind of container in the living room, but who even gets the idea to use a mug? 🤮

  54. Didn't even need to read the rest of it, NTA your bf is for doubling down on this gross behaviour because bro, this is not dudes being dudes, this is just really foul. And comparing it to animal fat?? Come on man.

  55. Please show him this comments thread. It’s not normal, acceptable or “typical disgusting man” stuff. This is nasty and dirty and just lazy/selfish. NTA

  56. Nta. I’m a gamer and I’ve been on some raids that take some serious time. Never once when I’ve needed to use the toilet have I thought about doing it in any container close to hand. I normally just let my team know I’m taking a break to refresh myself. This guys gross. It sounds like he has a serious addiction that you need to talk to him about.

  57. NTA I live with two men that are gamers. One of them just gagged hearing the title... This is some game addict behaviour

  58. Honestly, just make a power move and piss in something he uses regularly too. Maybe even in front of him. And then let's see if he still wants to drink from said container after cleaning it. It's petty as shit. But I am petty

  59. NTA, this is NOT acceptable “guy” behavior. I’m a mom of two boys and would be furious if they did something like this. I would suggest making other living arrangements and finding a new boyfriend.

  60. My hubs is also a computer guy (gamer/coder). Not once in ten years together has he EVER p*ssed in a mug. That is PURE laziness and also, disgusting. NTA and tell your partner sure it’s a “guy” thing. A SINGLE guy thing.

  61. My whole life I'm around gamers of all genders. NEVER heard about something like that. It's not even about the pee in mug anymore, rather than that you should be concerned over his addiction to gaming being so severe he couldn't even bother to get up for exactly 30 seconds to take a piss. That's a red flag for me regarding his mental health. Not wanting to take care of basic needs such as going to the bathroom, eating, shower etc is really disturbing. Nta obviously

  62. NTA, but your hubby is, who does that? Gross. Not to mention he tried blaming the fact that “all men are gross and do this” none of the men I know do something so disgusting and violate their partner in such a way. And no, tell him piss doesn’t just get washed out like animal fat does, what an idiot.

  63. You're nicer than I am. I'd remind him that potty training toddlers also get too engrossed in play and just pee wherever. Then I'd get him adult diapers since he can't seem to use the big boy potty.

  64. Nta he is not a gamer for peeing in his own mug he is just a lazy sleuth. Red flag btw. Never have we ever not waited for each other in a raid or did I not go afk for a minute and a half in a solo online game to take the time off if had to.

  65. NTA and honestly, this would be a breaking point for me and I'm a huge gamer. When gaming is more important that I don't know... Pissing in a toilet, then that's just gross.

  66. Both hubby and I are gamers and NEVER in the 8 years we've been together has a video game been so important that he peed in a cup. That is absolutely disgusting and lazy.

  67. Op, I’m telling you from a girl that comes from a massive family full of guys, that is not normal at all, tbh I’d throw the cups he has peed in. I’m surprised he didn’t use a plastic water bottle instead, I’ve heard from others that makes do that sometime

  68. Nta That's disgusting. I don't think I'd be able to use that mug again even if I sanitised it. Also, didn't the smell of a cup of p*ss on the desk bother him?

  69. NTA Find his favorite mug or bowl and fill it with some goopy period blood. Show him. Then go and wash it out and put some food or drink in it. What, he doesn't want that?? Why, it's washed!!

  70. NTA Not normal at all. I would advise reevaluating your relationship with this guy. If he's going to try to convince you this is normal, what's next?

  71. Pretty sure my eyebrows just disappeared into my hairline. He *PISSES???*In your MUGS???!!!??? Does his mother know he’s out here embarrassing her like this? It doesn’t matter what kind of bullshit science he wants to show you. That’s disgusting. NTA. His ass better replace whichever mugs he’s defiled.

  72. NTA. Um, no. This is not how all guys are. I have a husband, a son, four stepsons, an ex-husband, several ex-boyfriends, dated a lot and was a little sister at a fraternity. I have never known a guy to pee into a cup or mug. He's just gross and lazy and is trying to gaslight you.

  73. I grew up around my grandfather, two uncles, my little a brother, and cousins and no one did those things is disgusting and awful. My brother is a gamer and he just goes to the bathroom like the normal people. idk what the problem is with your boyfriend but he's awful. Also he tried to gaslighting you and dismissed your valid concerns about his behaviour. Is he always unable to take accountability for his behaviour?

  74. NTA. I've literally played video games like an addict and have been incontinent. I still managed not to urinate or defecate in anything except a toilet.

  75. Fellow gamer here and also raid alot. There are points in any raid where you can ask for a sec to run to the toilet. If he's heald it so long that it's become a burning need then that's a him problem.

  76. It's not normal for guys. I'm a guy, I've never pissed in a cup in my office 5 steps from a bathroom (or anything even remotely similar in any way).

  77. Please show this to your partner so he will hopefully understand how wrong and disgusting his behavior is. You should consider getting paper cups. Who knows how many of your of your mugs/glasses he's contaminated

  78. NTA! Next he’ll be leaving mugs of piss all over the house and gaslighting you again for objecting. This is NOT “just how men are.” It’s how your disgusting no-standards bf is.

  79. NTA. I wonder what how your SO would feel if you discarded the contents of your menstrual cup into one of those mugs.

  80. I'm sorry, WHAT?! The fact that you had to ask an adult to not pee in the mugs you drink from is... I mean NTA and all but... 😰

  81. NTA. I have three brothers, one of which had a serious gaming addiction and he still managed to get up and use the toilet like a sane human. Throw the whole boyfriend out and his piss mugs. That’s disgusting, lazy, and not a good sign of a healthy partnership. If he’s willing to gaslight you about this then how’s it going to escalate in the future?

  82. NTA, I would throw that mug out and if it happens again the man would follow. Read this to the men in my friend group and they were HORRIFIED, definitely not a thing all men do.

  83. NTA -but I get the unfortunate feeling that “it’ll never happen again” = “I’ll make sure I don’t get caught as I just continue doing this”

  84. NTA, but girl, do you really think this is the best you can do?? Because I PROMISE you, there are PLENTY of men out there who would never do this and think it’s gross. And he tried to make you think you were crazy or wrong for not wanting pee in the same container you put tea in?? I don’t know you but I know you can do better than a guy so obsessed with video games, he pisses in the mugs you drink out of instead of going to the bathroom. If you want to clean pee out of your drinking mugs and basically be a mom to your boyfriend (clearly he needs parenting if he thinks pissing where he eats is normal) that’s up to you, but you deserve…. Not this lol.

  85. NTA and damn that's gross. Next time drop some period blood in a coffee cup for him to find and when he complains say it's just animal fat, some iron, water, all stuff that washes out.

  86. NTA but your partner sure is. My partner is really into gaming too. But if he ever pissed in one of our mugs and then tried to explain the "science" of it I would throw him out along with the mug.

  87. Tell him I play destiny as well and I make it to the restroom just fine. Raids have plenty of opportunities to make a piss-run. He can show you whatever 'science' he wants. He is still being a disgusting, lazy slob that PISSES into crockery instead of making the 20' (at the most) journey to the restroom. Also, if it REALLY is an issue, you can buy those urinal things they give to people in hospitals that can't get up to use the restroom. It's still gross but at least it was DESIGNED to be pissed into as opposed to, oh let's say, drinking coffee/tea out of.

  88. As a gamer myself, you're NTA in this case. Sure, I've really had to go during things I've been unable to pause, but I've never been so desperate that I've had to take a piss in a mug.

  89. NTA I've played games I can't pause and snapped out of hyperfocus because I realized I desperately needed to pee, I'd never pee in something, I just hide my dude and run to the bathroom real quickly and hope I'm still alive when I get back, pissing in dishware is gross

  90. NTA This is not normal, don't let him persuade you that it is. Being so lazy that he cannot walk a few feet to the toilet is just going to escalate to hoarding and hygiene issues.

  91. NTA. Get your own cup and keep it where he can’t get it. And for goodness sake NEVER wash the cups yourself. Let him do it. If he puts them in the sink just leave them there until he washes them.

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